Corner of Midnight and 9

MUSIC: Ghetto Brothers - Ghetto Brother Power

So hello all...I hope yall are celebrating your country by blowing up a small part of it. I am still jetlagged from this weekend, and am abstaining from the fireworks this year...at least until Labor Day;)
My weekend was something of a blur: Friday morning I left the house(why do I always refer to my apartment as "the house"?) at 8:30ish, went to the airport, waited in hella lines, and then made a discovery...there are no bagels to be had at LAX. Even the one place that had em on the fucking menu..."I say, shopkeep! One bagel, slightly toasted, my good man!". Now, maybe the stare I got back was justified, if not for my terrible British accent, then certainly for the fact that I'd just called the poor girl behind the counter a man. I guess it was too early for her to take the joke...or maybe my hunger induced state warped my memory of the exchange, I can't be certain...in any case, whichever way I asked for it, they no bagel be having.
(I'd like to interrupt you there, Phil, by saying that I'd like to make a point about the number of Jews in the LA area that would clearly justify a healthier supply of bagels to the flying community...but I made an off-colour Jewish joke last month, so I'll not stoop to that level again.)
(Thanks, that's probably a good idea.)
(Aren't I cute?)
(Christ, what is wrong with me tonight?)
(Ahem)
Anyway, LA to Phoenix(where it was 117!) to Pittsburgh to Hertz rental car to Morgantown...that's a full day's travel. I got to sleep around 3 I think. Got to see my brother and his friends that are eerily like him in nearly every way. Frightening.
Saturday we drove to Cairnbrook(no, I know you don't know where it is. I could tell you what it's near but that wouldn't help) to pick up Grampa and went to the family reunion. Oh what a feast! I was eating dessert simply because it was there to be eaten. My mom's baking(and no doubt mom herself) was sorely missed by all. Dad is still unable to travel since having a quad(!) bypass at the end of May. He's doing much better now, but couldn't make it out to PA. Saturday night was the cookout (I'm the firestarter, twisted firestarter!) and we had a good turnout, despite things wrapping up early for the most part. If it isn't Nathan's, it isn't a fucking hotdog as far as I'm concerned.
Sunday we took Grampa to lunch...at 11AM! Then, in a fit of super-grandson-ness-stuff, I figured I'd go see Gramma before going back to Pittsburgh. So I drove up to Cranberry PA after getting directions from my uncle. Luckily, he and my aunt were there already, and that made things a little less awkward. I am not really a good conversation starter anyway, and that goes double for old folks. I just never know what to say unless it's answering their questions. So I got to go to dinner with uncle Charlie and aunt Rose and it was a really good time. I hadn't seen them since my cousin's wedding in '02 and I'd never been around them just by myself. Sucks that I don't get to see them more often...though I guess I can say that about damn near everyone back east. So after that I went back to Pittsburgh to return the rental car...and I left my 300fuckingdollar camera in the motherfucker! And I didn't realize it this morning until halfway between PA and Phoenix. The lost and found people were out today, so maaaaaaaybe I'll get it back...not holding my breath though.

Random junk:
-I am now a grandmaster at Lumines...that's 999,999 bitches. I'd take a picture, but see above. I'll be picking up Coded Arms for the PSP soon, but I think if Lumines were the only game I ever played...it was still worth the 300+ dollars...I really love it that much.
-I saw a woman praying over her egg mcmuffin this morning. I'm sure she just loved my Meat Beat Manifesto shirt.
-As previously "mentioned" LAX has no bagels. Phoenix has em, and Pittsburgh is choked by them. What gives LA?
-Oh yeah, Batman Begins, best comicbook movie ever. Seriously.
-Jeff Chang's book "Can't Stop Won't Stop" is a great read so far. It's a history of hiphop...not the first or last, but the first one I've read and god damn it's interesting.
-Maybe it's just me...but I think if you call flipflops "flippies", then you should call slippers "slippies". I mean, it just makes sense, right?
-Liv Tyler was born in July 1977, a fact I stumbled up on the Viewaskew site, where they wished her a happy birthday...that means she's 2 years older than me...and I realized that means when the "Crazy" video came out in 1994, she would've been 16...which, to my 14 year old brain would've been fine, had I known that then. So if I ever see that video again I am going to feel like a dirty old man. Thank you internet for ruining a perfectly hott video memory. I mean, it was bad enough to find out it was Steve Tyler's daughter up there stripping and frolicking, but to find out that she was still a kid at the time? Yeesh. I don't even want to know how old Alicia Silverstone was back then.
-I have recently seen advertised "The Best of Sugar Ray" and "The Best of The Offspring"...I just...I mean...what...*head explodes*

Speaking of advertisements, a big 'ol FUCK YOU! to Proactiv. It was the first infomercial I ever cracked on...not because I even have a lot of pimples really...I just saw it enough and had the disposable income and thought "my skin could be better, so why not?". What they don't tell you, even after you get the shipment, is that you have signed up for their "Clear Skin Club" or some such shit, and that you'll be receiving their product again without you doing anything. It's like Columbia House, only at least they tell you what you're in for. So I get home today with a box from them and I'm thinking, I didn't send it the form for the automatic shipments. Maybe it's like Columbia House and if I don't send it back, they send the stuff...nope. I look at the documentation in this box, too. There's a box to check if you do, in fact, want to sign up for the auto-shipment. I did not do that. So I go online and have to sign up there and then guess what? No where on the site do they tell you how to cancel...it's not even an option. So I had to send an email and I'm sure I'll get the "why don't you like our product?" spiel. Fuck em...I don't like their product because A) it doesn't do anything more than otc stuff, and B) I don't like getting into an agreement because of fine print. That is dirty business folks, and it'll take a mighty potent topical exfoliating mask to clean them up in my eyes.

Til next time,
Best believe someone's payin the pied piper.