I've said it before, and I'll say it again:












Never again.

It's official: we're too old.

MUSIC: Blackalicious - Touch the Stars

Congratulations Mtv, for producing an awards show I now have zero interest in watching. Obviously, each year these things (and the channel in general) have been getting worse, since it's peak in 1995 (look up the artists that year if you doubt this) but I tune in each year regardless. Usually it's only for one or two acts, but it's at least mildly entertaining otherwise; be it Lil Kim's boob hanging out, Chris Rock ranting, or Courtney Love throwing a shoe at Madonna, there's at least something.
Well this year I turn it on and see Kanye (woo!) and Jamie Foxx (meh) doing a pretty decent number. Then commercial, then they resume and I realize they're in fucking Miami. Why are they having their premiere show at somewhere other than NY, or even LA if need be? Miami? So then there's some award, then Mariah's crazy ass, then another award...this time for breakthrough video. The nomiees inclued Sarah Mclaughlin (huh?), Gorillaz (but...), and Missy (now wait a goddamn minute here). How are any of these breakthrough? Have they not been around 4 years bare minimum? So while my head is hurting because of this, I'm wondering where "Diddy" left his P, and 50 Cent comes on, not even singing the chorus to his own goddamn shitty single. You know he's even got the nerve to rerelease his latest (terribly disappointing) album right? We get back from commercial (Kanye selling Pepsi...say it ain't so!) and here comes Paris Hilton and "Bow Wow" (I guess he ain't Lil any more). That's it, fuck this, I'm out. I changed the channel and I'm not looking back.
The sad thing is, I saw a commercial for the next Real World/Road Rules challenge...and I can't fucking wait!

Til next time,
Shake, sh-sh-shake dat ass, girl.

The Last Bastion of Beef: Comicon part 3.

MUSIC: MF Doom - Beef Rapp

First off, a funny spam email subject:
"But now I can penetrate hardly and give the pleasure to every woman!"

Sunday: Real quicklike(since it's been damn near a month already). Met Jhonen Vasquez! Met Peter Chung and got an Æeon Flux sketch! Got a WoW Night Elf sketch from Gabe at Penny Arcade. Got the first 5 books of Hellboy for like 20 bucks. Met Richard Taylor (big cheese at Weta) as we were checking out of the hotel. Ate the best breadsticks EVER on the way home. And that's it. And now you're saying "Christ on a cracker, Illa! What took so long?" And to that I'd say "Pie is good. I like pie". So really, you're better off not asking.

And now: Pictures!
(clicky for pops)

"A whale's vagina"

"Yar! Ahoy there matey!"

Man in candy suit!

The (very small) cast of Teen Titans.

"I saw this bloody zombie and thought of you."

I don't know either.

Because Dooku is teh suck.

[adult swim]'s "booth". Classy.

"...naw, fo rilla? the villain on a gorilla jawn?"











Optimus Prime's mudflaps.











Under the sheet it was really just Optimus primer.

After learning that they left in the
"Noooooooooooooooooo!", Mr. Vader
had the editorial staff "let go".















"My backpack's got jets..."















"Aren't you a little short for a bounty hunter?"











"The war is over, I'm a peace time Mandalorian."











Mr. Matt Groening.











Mr. Peter Chung.











Mr. Jhonen Vasquez.















And finally...Beetlejuice!


Til next time,
"I don't want to spend all day looking at cooch."

There's a new photo bar thang up there.

That is all.

It tolls for thee, pigbreath.

MUSIC: Apsci - Bike Messenger Diaries

so when reid and i were on the way to san diego there was a wicked patch of fog for a few miles, like driving through a cloud. during this time i went into some weird toll lane (that i got on by just going straight; the non-toll portion veered off to the right). it was the damndest thing, i guess made for rush-hour. at the time i went through, there were no other cars. so reid says "they'll probly mail you a ticket" and i'm like yeah right.
46 fucking dollars!
for going straight on a road i'd never been on on a foggy friday morning with no traffic in the vicinity. the chrome-plated balls on this state! so i contested it online, and i'm supposed to be mailed an answer within two weeks...which is good since the damned payment is due in about two and a half weeks. and if i don't pay by the 19th?

89 fucking dollars.

i've had some stupid tickets before:
-driving with no tail lights (unbeknownst to me) after my radio was stolen (the first time). yes, you have to pay 10 dollars so you don't have to pay the whole ticket. pair of brass bearings, i'm telling you.
-parking in a temporary no-parking zone who's sign was put up after i parked there but taken down before i returned to my car (seriously)
-parking (for TWO minutes) in a street-cleaning area AFTER the street had been cleaned WHILE my brother was in the car, and returning to the car BEFORE the fucker had even started writing the ticket.

but i think this one wins as most 'tarded ticket.

seriously, what balls.